


Outside the Big Top

by skullpen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Circus, Circus Performers, Drinking, Drunk Confession, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-binary Hanamaki, Non-binary Oikawa, One Shot, Other, Train Rides, mentioned kyotani
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullpen/pseuds/skullpen
Summary: Hanamaki can't stop thinking about the circus's lion tamer, Matsukawa. He's so cool and handsome, but also a big softy. The two hang out a lot but Hanamaki has a hard time taking their eye's off of him, wishing for something more. Their crush only grows stronger as the circus travels around.





	Outside the Big Top

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - Because of my limited knowledge about lions, these lions will probably not act anything like how real lions act and for the sake of the story, these lions will be extremely tame and playful, very similar to dogs rather than lions. Thanks!

It was time. Time for their favorite part of the show. Hanamaki peeked through the slight opening in the curtain. Standing in the middle of a ring of lionesses, lights blasted downward upon him, the lion tamer. He was dressed in a thin black suit, with a long cape, and a top hat sat on his head, throwing ominous shadows across his face. Matsukawa, bowed and started his act with a short whistle. The lions bounded away and stood on their pedestals, awaiting the next command. For the next couple minutes, he used something that looked a bit like a pan flute, to play a slow song, leading them into mostly synchronized jumps and tricks. Normally, the lions would entranced the viewers, but Hanamaki had seen this act enough times that they turned their focus on the lion tamer. Calm, collected, he stood tall and moved with a smooth elegance that it looked like he was dancing along with the beasts. It was breathtaking.

“Makki!” an annoying voice half yelled, half whispered behind them. They sighed, tearing their eyes away from the magic to face the ringleader, Oikawa. They gestured to the empty chair right beside them.

“I know! Calm down.” Hanamaki flopped into the makeup chair, as brushes attacked their face.

“You’re out next and you can’t go out with that boring moody face,” they said quickly, applying the usual stage makeup to accent their high cheekbones and create an almost alien looking face in place of their own.

“You know, no one can really see any of this up in the stands, right?” Hanamaki said passively.

Oikawa pouted at them, “You don’t know that! It accentuates your face and goes with your outfit. It’s another layer of the magic for this circus.” They had to admit that it did go with the outfit, a skin tight leotard covered with swirling pink and white patterns. It also matched their dyed pink hair.

“We could just wear masks, and save the money we spend on makeup.”

“Masks get in the way. We can’t have them falling off in the middle of a performance!”

“I hate it when you make sense.”

Oikawa finished just as a cheering could be heard from behind the curtain. Hanamaki helped hold the curtain back as the lions and lion tamer filed through in a neat line. Matsukawa broke character to smile and wave at them, face shimmering with sweat as he caught his breath. Hanamaki smiled back and let the curtain drop behind the last lion. The lights on stage darkened.

Oikawa disappeared and a spot light found them up on the middle of a tightrope, balancing like it was nothing. Their tall figure was decorated with a sparkling suit that bounced small rays of light in every direction. How they made it up there so fast, Hanamaki will never know.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and all those in between! Are you ready for the next act?” A cheer rose up from the crowd. “This next act features impossible flexibility, that makes you wonder if they even have bones! Please welcome, the Contortionist!”

Hanamaki took a deep breath and put on a big smile. They threw back the curtains and sauntered out into the spotlight at the crowd cheered loudly.

Hanamaki’s act was fairly simple… for them. It was a sort of dance, as most acts were, that required them to move through small or compact objects to demonstrate how flexible they are, and ending with folding themself into a box and then disappearing. Simple, but since it was a dance, they had to make sure everything was timed perfectly and that they wouldn’t stumble or get stuck during any of the tricks. Lucky for them, they had practiced this act a million times that it was as easy as dancing the cupid shuffle. This time went just as smoothly as all the rest.

As for how they disappeared at the end, a simple blast of smoke and a trap door underneath the stage. The crew lowered them down to the floor and so they could climb out of the tiny box.

Hanamaki rolled their shoulders as they heard the crowd go wild above them, smiling at the noise.

There was only two more acts after theirs, then there was the end of show appearance, where they all paraded around the stage one last time. That meant there was some time to kill, and Hanamaki started for Matsukawa.

Suddenly, Oikawa was in their face, pulling them back to the makeup chair. “We need to fix your makeup before the ending!”

“Ugh, I know.” Hanamaki let the ringleader pull them into the seat, glancing back at their original goal. The lion tamer waited, with his little herd of lions all lying about him lazily, extremely comfortable to the flow of the performances.

“Why do you always smudge your makeup? It always needs to be fixed after your act,” Oikawa grumbled. Hanamaki ignored them, after having this exact argument every showtime, it was easier to ignore than to give a rebuttal.

Finally released from Oikawa, Hanamaki strode towards the lions. Matsukawa turned to see them coming and smiled. “Nice job out there,” he said warmly, once they were in hearing distance. His make up had been touched up as well, but his wasn't as dramatic as Hanamaki’s. Just some darker streaks to make him look a little more beastly, to match the lions. The difference between his smile and make-up forever amused them, but they kept that to themself.

“Same to you, your act never seems to grow old,” Hanamaki complimented in return.

“You think so? I’ve been thinking that maybe I should change something up in the routine, to give it more spark or something like that,” he said modestly, scratching the back of his head.

“Why not? As long as Oikawa approves of it, I’m sure it’ll be a hit.” Hanamaki might have a bit of a biased opinion, since they liked all of his acts so far, even the ones where the lions were being moody.

“Maybe… It’s still really rough and I really am relying on the lions a lot.” He absentmindedly stroked the head of a lion sitting by him, her eye’s squinted in content.

“What were you thinking?” Hanamaki asked curiously.

Matsukawa shook his head, his black curls bouncing, “I don’t want to tell anyone yet in case it doesn’t work out.”

“Oh boo you, that’s no fun. I could keep a secret,” they whined at him.

“Nope, not telling,” he said as he pretended to zip his mouth shut, throwing away the imaginary key.

Before they could reply, one of the clowns ran up to them. “Makki! Come on! The final parade is about to start!” Waving goodbye to Matsukawa, Hanamaki ran after the clown to find their place in line. Since they were also a clown, Hanamaki led them. Leading being a very generous word since the clowns are all actually squished and waving out of a tiny clown car, as Hanamaki rides on top.

A booming voice echoed from behind the curtain. “Everyone, I would like to thank you for all your support and attention tonight, as you are the true stars here, celebrating and encouraging our humble show. Now put your hands together one last time for our performers! Each and every one of them is out here to show off for you!”

With that the curtains were drawn and the line slowly moved forward. The procession was slow and as they posed and waved from the top of the clown car, Hanamaki glanced over to where Matsukawa was, watching as he waved to the crowd, the lions trotting in circles around him like a vortex. He always looked so calm and composed when in front of an audience.

Hanamaki was glad that the clowns were near the front, so that they could finally step down off the car and rest. But that never lasted for too long. Oikawa forced them all to stand around outside of the big tent to meet their fans. Every circus performer knew the real reason was because Oikawa wanted to show off all of their makeup, but talking mostly to excited children and posing for pictures was pretty fun too.

By the end of the night, Hanamaki was tired and ready to hit the hay. But one last visit to Matsukawa wouldn’t hurt. After washing off their makeup and changing into looser clothes, they walked over to where he was set up. As per usual, he was not actually in his trailer, but rather in the makeshift pen for the lionesses nearby. He had changed as well and his shirt was full of rips from the lions and jeans only in a slightly better condition. It was a completely different look than the one that appears on stage, more relaxed, rugged, wild. Hanamaki appreciated both equally.

“Will you be sleeping with your pack tonight?” Hanamaki asked upon their approach.

Matsukawa startled and turned towards them, hand over his heart. “You scared me.”

“Tsk. Tsk. Your senses are dull. Are you really fit to be leading this pack, Mattsun?” they teased, leaning against the railing of the pen.

Matsukawa made his way over to them. “I’m not really their leader. I’m more like..” he trails off trying to find the right word. “... their father? No, that’s weird. I’m not sure what I am to them,” he shrugged.

“Hmmm… Why don’t we ask them?” Hanamaki leaned down to scratch the head of the closest lioness. “What is Mattsun to you, missus?” She yawned. They looked back up at Matsukawa. “Not a good sign. You better watch out or you might get replaced, or worse, eaten.”

Matsukawa hid his smile behind his hand. “They won’t eat me, I’m the one that feeds them.”

“But what if I start feeding them instead and steal them away from you to start my own lion army?” Hanamaki challenged, leaning closer, with a sly grin.

He faked a dramatic gasp. “You’d turn my own babies against me? How evil! Whatever shall I do?” He threw his head back with the back of his hand pressed against his forehead. Despite both of them being great actors, they couldn’t help but giggle at themselves. The laughing subsided and silence fell upon them. Crickets chirped and the sounds of the nearby city a faint reminder of where they were. Hanamaki didn’t know what to say next, but they didn’t really mind that. Being around Matsukawa was good enough for them.

They let their gaze wander from the lions over to Matsukawa, watching him watch the lions with a fond look on his face. They wished that he might look at them with that same face as well, with soft eyes and a faint smile. A sigh escaped from them, and they leaned away from the railing.

“It’s been a long day, I think I’m going to get some sleep. See you tomorrow?”

Matsukawa blinked in surprise. “Oh, alright. Sweet dreams,” he said, smiling and waving. They waved back, turning away before they ended up doing something stupid like blowing a kiss. Not that that was entirely out of character, but more so because they didn’t know if they were prepared for whatever his reaction might be.

Hanamaki settled into their bunk amongst the rest of the snoring clowns, their thoughts lingering on the kind and warm lion tamer. Hopefully, they would have some sweet dreams indeed.

\------

Last night had been their last performance so the next day was dedicated to packing everything up. It was a lot of hard manual labor that everyone pitched in with and they were able to have it all done by the end of the day. Everything was piled onto their train. With that done it was tradition for most of the group to go out into town the night before. They had to make it back before the train departed in the morning. Nobody had been left behind yet.

Hanamaki watched as everyone broke into groups to go explore the city and it’s nightlife. They had almost been roped in with the rest of the clowns to find the most bizarre and hidden bar in the city, but they had politely declined, faking a headache from the day’s work. Instead, they went to bother Matsukawa, knocking on his train door. No answer. They looked over at the lion’s pen to find him lying amongst his lions, practically asleep. They leaned over the railing and peered down at him, quietly admiring his resting face for a moment.

“Hey lion whisperer, did you want to go out tonight?” they asked loudly.

Matsukawa and some of the lions jumped, at the sound of their voice. “Go out?” he said, confused as he rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah, out to get some drinks like the rest of the crew, do you want to go?”

Matsukawa stared at them for a moment before nodding. “I should probably change first,” he said looking down at his ragged shirt.

Hanamaki laughed, “That would probably be best, even if we are only going to some run down bar on the edge of the city.”

“What, no five star place with $80 wine?” he joked, brushing off his clothes.

“I wish!” They watched him disappear into his train.

Soon Matsukawa reappeared in a nicer pair of jeans and t-shirt. They choose to walk to the city, knowing that it would take a while but neither wanting to pay for a ride. Hanamaki didn’t mind at all, focusing on Matsukawa’s rambling and bombarding him with his own talk of nonsense.

They entered the first bar they found and luckily no one else from their circus was there. Settling down at the far end of the bar, away from everyone else, they ordered a couple of drinks and bumped shoulders as they continued talking.

Hanamaki slouched against the bar, a tad buzzed, as they stared at Matsukawa. The other man was also buzzed and rambling on about nothing, occasionally looking over at Hanamaki as he gestured in the air. They weren’t really paying attention to his words, but watched his mouth move and his long eyelashes move when he blinked. They downed the rest of their drink to distract themself.

A few more drinks and they were both properly drunk, paying their tab and making their way out of the bar. Hanamaki hooked an arm around Matsukawa’s neck. This time it was their turn to ramble on and on. They didn’t know when it happened but they suddenly became aware of Matsukawa’s arm around their waist, causing them to stutter and blush mid sentence. The lion tamer teased them but didn’t let go. By the time the two reached the circus train, the alcohol had begun to wear off. Hanamaki slowed down their walking speed, trying to drag out their time with Matsukawa.

Matsukawa paused and Hanamaki stopped with him, arm still around his neck just as his was still around his waist. He looked like he wanted to say something.

“What?” they asked, hoping to draw the question out of him.

“Well…” he tried to start, trailing off into silence again.

They were interrupted by quick footsteps running up behind them and a faint yell of “Oikawa, no!” before said person jumped on both of them, causing them all to fall over.

It took them a moment to realize that Oikawa was bawling tears and saying something along the lines of “I love you both so much.” At least, that’s what it sounded like between all of the sniffling. Hanamaki laughed and patted their shoulder comfortingly as Iwaizumi ran up to them.

“Sorry,” he said, “They suddenly dashed away from me as soon as they saw you two.”

“It’s alright,” Matsukawa laughed, as Iwaizumi lifted Oikawa off of them with ease.

“You two are back early, or did you even go out at all?” the trapeze artist asked, holding the limp ringleader in his arms.

Matsukawa helped Hanamaki up from the ground. “We went out, but not for long. Just had a couple of drinks, that’s all,” Hanamaki said, trying not to laugh whenever they looked at Oikawa clinging like a koala bear to Iwaizumi.

“What about you? You’re back early as well,” Matsukawa said, everyone knowing full well the reason why.

“Somebody couldn’t hold their liquor and took too many shots before I could even finish my beer. They started to make a scene so I had to pull them out of there before we were kicked out,” Iwaizumi explained. The other two nodded along, used to hearing this story. “Do you want to sit down for a couple of beers while I babysit princess here?” he offered.

Not seeing any reason to decline, the two follow Iwaizumi towards the front of the train where the ringleader’s cart was. They weren’t really allowed to have alcohol on the train but Iwaizumi was… well, Iwaizumi and pulled out a pack of beer from his and Oikawa’s shared train cart.

They settled down in the grass by the train, Oikawa curled up in Iwaizumi’s lap, clinging to him half asleep. Hanamaki and Matsukawa sat near each other, sipping their beers as Iwaizumi talked about something. Hanamaki listened, but they kept sneaking glances over at Matsukawa. They drank a couple more beers, comfortably reaching that buzzed state before Iwaizumi suggested they turn in for the night. Oikawa was fast asleep in his lap.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa slowly walked back to their own trailers. They paused outside of the clown one to say goodnight.

“What were you going to say before Oikawa ambushed us?” they asked, remembering they had been interrupted.

Matsukawa blushed. “Oh, well… It’s not important. Goodnight!” he said quickly, turning and walking away. Hanamaki stood there, concerned until some of the returning circus members found them. The rest of the members were heavily drunk and Hanamaki sighed, crawling into their bunk.

\------

Hanamaki awoke to the sway of the cart. They had already began to move and were on their way to the next city, to perform again. Breakfast had already passed, but they usually skipped that anyways. They rolled over and tried to get some more sleep.

“Makki, lunch break. If you don’t eat now, there’s nothing until dinner,” one of the other clowns shook them awake. They yawned and stretched, exiting the cart with other hungover passengers, their stomachs growling.

Hanamaki grabbed their food and found Matsukawa, taking a seat next to him.

“Morning,” they greeted.

“Morning,” he said with a mouthful of food.

“Any chance I could ride with you the rest of today?” Hanamaki asked, looking at the rather disappointing food they had gotten. It wasn’t that they didn’t like their own cart, but it was occupied by… clowns.

“Sure,” Matsukawa agreed.

After eating, Hanamaki grabbed some of their stuff from their cart and returned to Matsukawa. They preferred to change over to his cart, due to their over crowded and noisy cart, so it was more out of routine when Hanamaki sat down on the opposite side of the bunk with a book. The lion tamer had been one of the lucky ones who didn’t have to share his cart with anyone else, but that was because his potential roommates had moved in with their closer friends. Matsukawa was left with a whole cart and not a lot to do with it. Hanamaki loved it.

The ride was quiet and occasionally they would interrupt each other to say a few words, until Hanamaki became completely absorbed in their book.

The train stopped again for dinner but Hanamaki paused to look at Matsukawa. “Can you bring me back something?” He laughed and agreed. They praised him when he came back with a huge plate of food.

“They said that we were not going to stop again until morning,” Matsukawa said, handing the plate over.

Hanamaki dogeared the book to take the plate. If they weren’t going to stop then they would have to go back to their loud cart. “Could I… spend the night here?” they asked. They had stayed over before, mostly on accident, but Matsukawa enjoyed his privacy and they didn’t want to make things uncomfortable for him.

Matsukawa hesitated, but then nodded, “Sure.”

“You’re a savior,” they said stuffing their face. Matsukawa just laughed.

They stayed and read their book, finishing it before the last rays of sunlight disappeared. They closed their book and looked over at Matsukawa. He sat at the other end of the bed and was reading his own book. Now extremely bored Hanamaki swung their legs up and placed them over Matsukawa’s arms, in the way of his book. He sighed and looked over at them, amused.

“Do you need something?” he asked, pretending to be overly annoyed.

“Hmmm, no. I’m good,” Hanamaki said, smiling slyly.

Matsukawa rolled his eyes and pulled his arms out to rest above Hanamaki’s legs, attempting to continue reading. They weren’t going to let him off the hook that easy and slowly raised their legs to lift his arms. He casually reaches over to brush his fingers against the bottom of Hanamaki’s feet. They hiss and hurriedly pull back their legs. He pretended to keep reading, but they could tell he was watching to see what they would do.

“That’s playing dirty,” Hanamaki said, narrowing their eyes at him.

“Is it?” Matsukawa said, looking at them out of the corner of his eye, a smug look on his face. “What are you going to do about it then?” he challenged.

Hanamaki knocked his book out of his hands but he quickly latched onto one of their legs trying to tickle their feet. They struggled and half laughed half yelled at Matsukawa. Their fighting accidentally rolled both of them off of the bed where they paused to make sure the other wasn’t hurt. Then went straight into wrestling around on the floor, trying to pin the other down. It didn’t last long before the cart jostled and Matsukawa banged his head on the wall. He sat back on his legs and rubbed his head with one hand.

“You okay?” Hanamaki asked, slightly out of breath, spread out beside him.

“I’ll be alright.” He looked down at Hanamaki and then suddenly flopped across them. “I win,” he laughed as they pushed at him.

“Not fair! We were on break!”

“There is no break,” he said, letting his body lay limply across Hanamaki. They gave up and let him win. He propped his head up on his hands and looked over at the contortionist. “What do you want to do now?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think I would finish my book that fast,” they said, looking back at him.

They both laid there, unsure about what to do.

“Fuck, marry, kill. Batman, Superman, Green Lantern,” Matsukawa said.

“Fuck Green Lantern, marry Batman, kill Superman,” Hanamaki replied.

“Harsh, you’d kill Superman?”

“Imagine how famous I would be! I’d be known as the person who killed Superman!”

“But what about all the evil he prevents? You’ve doomed the world!”

“Psh, as if I wouldn’t doom other places if I killed Batman or Green Lantern.”

“Fair enough.”

“Your turn. Fuck, marry, kill. Wolverine, Storm, Cyclops.”

“Ooh, tough one… Fuck Storm, marry Wolverine, kill Cyclops.”

“You want to marry Wolverine?”

“You know he’s got a soft side to him, he just needs someone to heal his soul,” Matsukawa said jokingly.

Hanamaki laughed. “You’re ridiculous.” They continued through a few more rounds before switching to card games. They played as many games two players could play, eventually ending with war that Matsukawa somehow won twice. That prompted Hanamaki to hit the cards out of his hands, sending them flying everywhere in the cart. They picked up the cards and relaxed on the bed.

“It’s getting late,” Matsukawa said glancing at the time.

Hanamaki nodded as they slumped against the wall. “I might just fall asleep right here.”

“There’s three other beds in here and you just have to choose the one I use?” Matsukawa questioned.

“There’s three other beds in here and you don’t just sleep in any one you want?” they replied, already inching their way over towards his pillow. They bumped their head into his leg, turning to smile up at him. It looked like he was blushing, but in this light it was hard to tell.

He rolled his eyes at them and stood. “Fine, I’ll use a different bed tonight. Just don’t go drooling all over the pillow.”

“I don’t drool!” Hanamaki said defensively. They flopped out properly on the bunk as Matsukawa climbed into the one above them. They couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed that he hadn’t chosen one across the room, so that they could at least see him. But they had managed to successfully take his bed, pressing their face into his pillow. Was it weird that they liked the way he smelled? Probably, but they didn’t care, and once the light was switched off, they were soon asleep.

\------

“Didn’t I tell you you not to drool on the pillow?” Matsukawa said from above them. They stirred to find his head upside-down, looking at them from the top bunk.

They wiped their mouth. Shit, they had been drooling. “Sorry,” they said sleepily.

“It’s fine, I’ll just have to wash it.” His head disappeared and a moment later he jumped down. “It’s time to get up, train is going to stop soon.”

Hanamaki groaned and rolled over. “I want to sleep more,” they complained.

“Don’t make me force you out of bed.”

“I dare you,” Hanamaki challenged. They weren’t really all that surprised when Matsukawa took them up on the challenge and grabbed around their waist. They scrambled to hold onto something, but they were pulled from the bed forcefully. “I wasn’t ready!” they complained, finding their footing.

“Too bad, so sad,” Matsukawa smiled, letting them go once they were balanced. His smile was so unfairly cute that they couldn’t stay mad at him for long.

Hanamaki huffed, not ready to go back to their own cart. They were supposed to be arriving today, and they needed to go back to organize with the rest of their group, even though they rather spend more time with Matsukawa. No one believed them when they said he was more fun to hang around with than the clowns.

Breakfast came and went and Hanamaki returned to their own car, ignoring most of the pestering from the others. Time passed by longer as they listened to the latest gossip. The clowns loved gossip and knew everything about everybody, even if it was a supposedly well kept secret. They were the first group to figure out that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were dating. Those two had tried to keep it a secret but once everyone knew, it was pointless.

Hanamaki stared out the window, watching the landscape for most of the ride. Of course he had to make sure that everyone knew what they were going to be doing as soon as they stopped and interrupted the clown’s chatter to give out instructions.

The train reached the station by mid-afternoon and everyone was immediately put to work. It had been a busy day and Hanamaki fell into their bunk that night, exhausted, falling asleep within moments.

\------

The next day, once everything was set up, they had some free time. The shows wouldn’t start for a few more days, and the time they had free was meant for practicing their routines. Hanamaki practiced, but after growing bored of watching the rest of the clowns horse around, they snuck off to see Matsukawa.

He was busy with his lions, trying to draw their focus after it was clear that they were more interested in playing with each other at that point. He sighed heavily and dropped his flute.

“Looks like practice time is over for them,” Hanamaki said, as they approached.

Matsukawa gave them a half-hearted smile, “After finishing our usual routine, they start to lose interest. I was going to try and teach them some new moves, but that doesn’t look like it’ll happen today.”

They leaned against the outside of the pen, watching some of the lions pounce on each other. “That’s about how it goes with the clowns,” they admitted.

Matsukawa walked up by them, leaning from inside the pen. “Clowns won’t rip your clothes when they try to play with you.”

“Lions don’t talk back, or gossip about you.”

He laughed. “You’re right about that.” They both silently watched the lions for a moment.

“So you are free right now?” Hanamaki asked.

“Looks like I am,” Matsukawa looked at them, an eyebrow raised, showing his curiosity.

“Do you want to go explore?” They were in a new town, and even though it was smaller than the last one, there would still be plenty to see.

“You think we’ll be missed?” Matsukawa said, looking around for anyone who might be watching.

“Me, probably, but you, I doubt it.”

“Are you saying I’m not important enough to be needed?” He strolled over to the gate and let himself out, returning to the contortionist’s side.

Hanamaki laughed. “No, no. Just lions don’t mind if you aren’t around. Clowns on the other hand… They tend to want to know why.”

“It must be so rough for you. You poor thing,” Matsukawa playfully ruffled their hair. They swatted at his hand.

“Come on, let’s get out of here before anyone notices.” This time they grabbed his hand and pulled him along. The two snuck behind tents and other structures until they safely made it to the edge of the circus. There was a large stretch of grass between them and the nearest building and they made a run for it, racing each other to see who could dash behind the building first.

Hanamaki won and they rested against the wall catching their breath.

“Do you think we were spotted?” Matsukawa asked panting.

“Who cares, there’s nothing they can do now,” Hanamaki smiled.

The two strolled through the town, ducking into small local shops to peruse what was there. They walked and talked until the sunset, where they scaled up the fire escape of a nearby building to watch it disappear. Finding a small diner near the outside of town, they ate some considerably better food than what the cook might have served them that night. Then they began their slow walk back, snaking their way through back streets and alleys until they popped out relatively close to where they had started.

Oikawa was waiting for them back at the entrance and chewed them out for ditching until they pulled out a dessert they had originally planned to eat later, but Oikawa took it, fighting their delighted expression.

“I’m letting you off the hook, just this once!” they warned as they walked away.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa smiled and nodded and strolled back towards the lion pen.

“We should do that again sometime,” Hanamaki said.

“Sometime, as in when Oikawa forgets about it.”

“Exactly, but I told you. As long as we bring them something, we’ll get off lightly.”

“Unless they send Iwaizumi to scold us,” Matsukawa considered.

“Yikes. Yeah, there’s no getting out of that one.” They reached the lion pen and stood about awkwardly. It was late and they both needed to sleep, but neither of them were inclined to end their time together.

Finally, Matsukawa spoke, “So… I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He rubbed the back of his head.

“Yeah, either after practice or at dinner,” Hanamaki said, shuffling their feet.

“Goodnight. Sweet dreams,” he said, giving them a small wave.

“Same to you,” they waved, stepping away.

They had only taken a few steps before Matsukawa called to them again. “Makki…” They turned to look at him. “Thanks for today,” he smiled.

They could feel the blush burning on their cheeks and thanked the low lighting for possibly hiding it. They smiled back, “Wouldn’t have been any fun without you, Mattsun.”

Quickly turning and walking away, they felt their heart pounding in their chest. They ended up taking a few laps around one of the smaller tents to cool down before facing the clowns. They readied themself for the barrage of questions they were going to have to avoid answering or lie about. There was no letting their guard down with those cats.

\------

Hanamaki wasn’t able to see Matsukawa until dinner, prying themself away from the rest of their group to hang out with their favorite person. They had hoped to spend some time with him alone until Kyotani showed up, interested in hanging out with the lions. Hanamaki didn’t know what they could talk about with him around and ended up watching Matsukawa, who watched the newbie acrobat pet the huge cats. After a while they excused themself. They would bug him tomorrow, after the show.

\------

The show came and went, and by the end of the night Hanamaki was tired and sweaty. Like usual, they found Matsukawa inside the lions pen and leaned against it.

“Tired?” he asked leaning back next to them.

They rested their head against his shoulder. “Like always.”

They talked about the show and the people that they had seen in the crowd. It wasn’t long before they ran out of things to say, letting a comfortable silence fall over them.

Matsukawa ruffled their hair, “Go get some sleep, we have to do it all again tomorrow.”

“And the day after, and the day after,” they said, straightening up. “Goodnight,” they waved.

“Sweet dreams,” he waved back.

\------

On the last night in town, after clean up, Hanamaki was surprised to see Matsukawa strolling over to them. They were in the middle of trying to get out of the clowns party night when they spotted him. The others spotted him too.

“The lion tamer?” “Paying a visit to the clowns?” “Oh my, he must be sick.” “Someone call a doctor!” they all teased as he approached.

He shrugged it off and stepped up to Hanamaki, looking between them and the person they had been talking to. “So… what’s the plan for tonight?” he asked casually. The clowns whooped and hollered with joy as they started to pull Matsukawa along with them. Hanamaki reluctantly followed, arching an eyebrow at the lion tamer. He just shrugged silently and let himself be pulled along. What was he thinking?

The clowns started off the night strong, hitting the first bar and ordering rounds of shots. Hanamaki followed, doing about half of what the rest of the group was doing, surprised that Matsukawa was keeping their pace, yet looking perfectly fine. By the fourth bar, Hanamaki wanted nothing more than to sit and relax, but the group kept moving. They were about to leave when they notice Matsukawa wasn’t with them. Looking back, he was still sitting at the bar, nursing a fresh drink. Curiously, Hanamaki watched the rest of the clowns disappear before joined him.

“Having fun?” they asked.

“Not as much fun as I have with you,” he said, smiling at them. His cheeks had a drunken blush and he leaned against the counter heavily. Hanamaki laughed and ordered their own drink. They sat and talked, finishing their drinks together, before starting the walk home. “Do you think that they will notice that we’re gone?” he asked worriedly. He leaned against Hanamaki for balance, even though they weren’t all that steady either.

“Don’t worry about it,” they reassured him. Someone had seen them stay behind and they worked backwards after, checking for anyone they left passed out. They had fun, but they also kept an eye out for each other. An annoyingly close eye sometimes.

The two made it back perfectly fine, and Hanamaki led the drunken lion tamer back to his bed. They were about to leave when he grabbed their wrist. “Uhh… Makki... “ he struggled with what he was trying to say, rubbing his forehead. He was sobering up, but it wasn’t being kind. “Wait a moment,” he finally said.

“Sure.” They sat down on the bed next to him, scooting to lean back against the wall. Matsukawa sat and held his head in his hands, looking a bit ragged. Hanamaki rubbed his back. “You doing alright?” they asked, concerned.

He relaxed at their touch, and let out a soft hum. “Could be better,” he admitted. After a few moments, he moved and laid across Hanamaki’s lap.

They let out a soft laugh. “Are you a cat now?” They ruffled his hair. It was soft and curled around their slim fingers. Even though they tried to mess it up, it seemed to look the same as always.

“Yes. Why do you think the lions listen to me? I know how to speak their language,” he joked.

“If you speak their language, then do you know what they are saying?”

“They say… they like performing, but rather play more,” he said, clearly making it up as he talked.

Hanamaki laughed. “What do they say about the rest of the performers?”

“Most of them are nice, but loud, especially the clowns, but not you. They say you are quiet and more willing to pet them than others. They like that,” he said, his voice softening as he talked. Tiredness was setting in and they saw him let out a long yawn.

“So they like me best?” Hanamaki asked. They had a feeling that Matsukawa was speaking for himself rather than the lions.

“Mmhmm. They like you because you distract me from making them work, so they can play and lay around more,” he chuckled, turning to look back at them.

Hanamaki blushed, “Am I bothering you too much?”

Matsukawa turned forward again. “I wish you’d bother me more,” he said softly.

They blushed even more, glad that he wasn’t looking at them anymore. “If I did, then we would never get anything done,” they sighed, running their hands through his hair again.

“I know,” he said.

There was a brief moment of silence before Hanamaki pushed at his back. “You should sleep.”

“Alright,” he said and pretended to snore.

“Let me rephrase: You should let me up and then sleep.”

“Party pooper,” he complained, sitting up. Hanamaki pushed off of the bed and stood, watching at Matsukawa flopped back down once they were up.

“Goodnight,” they said, giving a small wave at the door.

“Sweet dreams,” he said back, smiling sleepily. They smiled back and left. He was too cute.

\------

On the road yet again, Hanamaki bugged Matsukawa to let them ride with him again. This ride would be shorter and they were expected to arrive by the end of the day.

Like usual, they sat on his bed, reading a magazine, as the cart rocked back and forth. Hanamaki finished reading first and bugged Matsukawa. The bugging turned into wrestling and they both ended up on the floor. They pinned him down successfully.

“Ha, I win,” they said, holding both of his wrists down. He struggled for a moment before giving up, catching his breath. Matsukawa stared up at them, making them feel more and more self-conscious of the position they were in. They tried to not let it show on their face.

Finally, with a huff, he admitted defeat. “I give in.”

They hesitated, but moved off of him, and sat. The two rested, letting their heartbeat slow.

Matsukawa started talking, going into the usual back and forth of weird questions they would ask each other. They talked until the train reached their destination, raising from the floor to go grab dinner with the rest of the crew.

\------

Hanamaki kept to their usual routine of finding Matsukawa whenever they had a bit of free time. He smiled warmly at them and always seemed to have the time to hang out. The clowns would bother and gossip but they didn’t give it any thought, that’s just what the clowns liked to do.

It certainly didn’t help with the gossip when after the shows were all done and the sun was setting after their clean up day, Matsukawa was waiting for them by the clown carts. The rest of their group buzzed with questions as Hanamaki strode up to him. He smiled as warmly as ever, but they detected a bit of mischief in his smile. “What’s up?” they asked.

“If you’re free, would you mind giving me a hand?” he said.

The others crowded around. “I can help.” “Let me help.” “I’m free.” they said.

Matsukawa laughed, “Sorry, but I need Makki’s help.” He turned back to them, awaiting their response, as the others murmured suggestive reasons.

Hanamaki shrugged. “I’m free, let’s go.” They stepped away from the others with Matsukawa, leaving them to gossip. “Do you really need my help?” they asked quietly once out of earshot.

“Yes and no. One of the lions has a bit of a limp, so I want to check her out, but I don’t really need any help doing that. I just figured I would grab you before the rest of them try to take you out drinking,” he admitted.

They laughed and bumped shoulders with him. “Thanks for that. I was already trying to think of some excuse, but I might be running out of believable ones soon.”

Upon reaching the pen, Hanamaki went to distract the lion and pet her while Matsukawa prodded at her leg. She didn’t seem to be bothered, and when they had her stand up, she acted perfectly fine.

“False alarm?” they suggested.

“Maybe. I’ll keep an eye on her for the next couple days,” he said, watching her roll around in the grass.

“So… What’s the plan now?”

“I’m not sure. Hang out? Get drunk?”

“Small bar at the edge of town?”

“Sounds good.”

They walked out of the empty lot where the circus used to sit and towards town, chatting about nothing in particular. The first bar was quiet and they were surprised to find Oikawa and Iwaizumi in there. The four of them took their drinks into a booth and chatted. It didn’t take long before Oikawa had drunk more than their fair share and was laying all over Iwaizumi. That was enough of a reason for him to excuse the two of them and head back to the train. Hanamaki and Matsukawa stayed and had a few more drinks until they were both giggling uncontrollably at things that weren’t even all that funny.

Hanamaki hung onto Matsukawa as they dragged their feet heading back. It was a beautiful night out and they weren’t ready for it to be over. They were suddenly lurched to the side as the lion tamer changed directions.

“Where are you going?” they asked, words slurring.

“I saw something over here,” he said, leading them through some low hanging trees. They popped out on the other side and stepped into an abandoned field. It looked like someone needed to mow it, but it would be a few more weeks until it became unruly.

“There’s nothing here,” Hanamaki said, looking around. But Matsukawa pulled them forwards toward the middle of the field. “Where are you going now?”

“Just come on,” he insisted. He finally stopped and let go of Hanamaki, flopping down into the long grass. He stared up at them and pat the ground next to him, smiling. Hanamaki smirked and laid down with him. Looking at the sky, they could see hundreds of stars twinkling back at them.

“There’s so many,” they said. Matsukawa hummed in agreement and they both stared at the night sky. It didn’t take long for their eyes to slowly turn towards him again. They admired the way he looked in the low light, his messy curls falling as they pleased, and the stars reflecting off of his eyes.

Matsukawa must have felt their stare because he turned towards them, making eye contact. They continued to stare, feeling an overwhelming urge to kiss him and being drunk enough to follow through. They rolled over and place their hands on either side of his head, looking down at him.

“Matsukawa…” they began, but was cut off by his hand coming up around their face and pulling them down. He must have been feeling the same way because when their lips met, Hanamaki swore they would melt. They kissed and kissed and kissed, softly and slowly, trying to express their built up feelings to one another. They broke apart and he smiled fondly up at them.

“I love you,” he said.

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” they smiled back, leaning back in to kiss him again. They laid there kissing until they heard a rustling noise nearby. It was probably some wildlife, but they both preferred not to get caught by a passing resident and finally made their way back to the train.

Hanamaki wrapped an arm around Matsukawa, leaning their head on his shoulder as they walked. The rest of the area was quiet, making them wonder if they had spent a bit too much time out, until they heard yelling in the distance. Quickly, they retreated to Matsukawa’s cart, sitting in the dark as others passed by.

“Do you think they saw us?” Matsukawa asked, quietly laughing.

“I hope not,” Hanamaki replied, peeking out the small window to see. They ducked back down when they noticed more people walking by. They leaned against the wall next to the lion tamer, blindly finding his hand in the dark. Matsukawa reached up to turn their head towards him, leaning in for another kiss. They met him halfway. The two sat there, in the dark, kissing. They were drawn into their own little world.

Hanamaki broke away first, stopping Matsukawa from trying to follow their lips. “I should get going,” they said, sober enough to know that they needed to get back to their own cart.

Matsukawa knew as well, and he sighed. “It’s going to be hard, not kissing you every time I see you,” he said, kissing the tip of their nose.

They laughed quietly. “Do you think that we can keep it a secret longer than Oikawa and Iwaizumi?”

“Well it wouldn’t be any fun if we don’t try,” he smiled. Hanamaki had to agree there. They loved a good challenge, but this one might be a bit harder to pull off. Matsukawa drew their attention back to him. “You’ll come tomorrow to ride in my cart right?”

“As usual,” they replied, sealing the promise with another kiss. They went to leave, but Matsukawa kept pulling them into more and more kissing, until finally they had their hand on the door.

“Goodnight,” they said.

Matsukawa kissed them one last time before they opened the door. “Sweet dreams,” he said, waving as they walked away. They were thankful that the rest of the clowns were fast asleep, and silently crawled into their own bunk.

\------

Hanamaki strolled over towards the lion tamer’s cart, whistling happily the next day. They ate together and proceeded about their usual routine of reading until one of them finished.

Hanamaki always seemed to finish first, and this time when they went to bug Matsukawa, he quickly dropped his book and leaned over them. They smiled and easily pulled him in to a kiss. The two had until dinner all to themselves.

\---THE END---

**Author's Note:**

> In case any of you were interested, I did assign roles to everyone on the main team even though they didn't take part in the story. This was going to be longer, but I decided I really just wanted to focus on one ship and I'm glad I did because I'm not sure I would have had the concentration to make it any longer!
> 
> Matsukawa - Lion Tamer/Keeper  
> Hanamaki - Clown / Contortionist  
> Oikawa - ringleader (also good at tightrope walking)  
> Iwaizumi - trapeze artist / strongman  
> Yahaba - juggling / knife throwing  
> Watari - ticket salesman / manager (does all the main work)  
> Kindaichi - daredevil motorcyclist  
> Kunimi - sky dancer (uses rings, fabric strips, or poles)  
> Kyotani - another trapeze artist but also plays with fire
> 
> There are others in the circus, but I didn't want to pull in people from different teams, so that's why the clowns aren't specific people. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> You can always talk to me directly at my tumblr! which the url is also skullpen


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